( thundering footsteps ) ( car alarm blaring )
( screaming )
FISH: Run for it, man!
( panicked screaming )
( crowd gasps )
( crowd screaming )
( all scream )
Oh, good, the lunch rush.
Now that my Chumbot has dropped you into my clutches,
you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket!
( all scream )
What?
You mean, you kidnapped us
just to sell us your fast food?
Come on, it's a standard marketing technique.
You little twerp!
Hey!
COMPUTER: He's right, you know.
Karen!
You think I'm a twerp?
Well, yes,
but I was referring to the kidnapping.
Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes!
Maybe it's because you are always wrong.
Fine... I'm wrong, you're right.
You said it, not me.
Why did I ever install that nagging software?
Nagging software? I heard that!
Come back here and dust my screen!
MR. KRABS: Oh, money,
you're always there for me.
( kissing noisily )
Hello, Eugene.
Mother!
What brings you by today?
I just wanted to see
me favorite son.
How much of my money do you want?
Well, I did see the prettiest hat in town today.
Oh, look at the time!
So sorry to have to rush off.
Bye, bye.
Whew, that was a close one.
Why did I ever buy that computer wife?
I need a real woman...
not a girl in a cold, hard shell.
( Karen complaining )
( humming )
PLANKTON: Such beauty.
She's an angel, and no wires!
l've never felt like this before.
l don't even know her name, and yet she's stolen my heart.
KAREN: Plankton!
You've fallen in love with another woman?
I'm your wife!
You're a W.I.F.E.:
wired integrated female electroencephalograph.
Oh! You always pull that one out!
"You're not a real wife.
( emotionally ): You're just a computer!"
Aah! Why don't you have an "off" switch?
( fading ): Plankton, don't you dare...
And now to woo that beloved creature.
( snoring )
( screaming )
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
World domination has nothing on you.
( screaming )
Hmm, I guess she's not a poetry fan.
( all screaming )
( screaming )
Poetry, love notes... nothing's working.
Maybe something personal.
( Mrs. Krabs shrieking )
Am I really that pretty?
Oh, yeah...
I am smooth.
Just dial the number and ask her to dinner.
Come on, you can do this.
( dial tones beeping, Plankton grunting )
( panting )
MRS. KRABS: Hello?
( Plankton panting )
I'm hanging up.
Wait!
It's your secret admirer.
Oh, you're that giant robot?
( laughing )
No.
I program the robot.
Did you enjoy the gift l sent you?
How did you know I wanted a hat?
Have you been spying on me?
It was... just a lucky guess.
I've admired you from afar for too long, my angel.
We must meet face-to-face.
Well, how about The Krusty Krab tonight at 8:00?
Sounds wonderful.
I'll be the tall fellow wearing a red carnation.
Until tonight... my dear.
Ah! Quick, SpongeBob, swallow me wallet!
Okay.
Oh, sorry, Mommy.
I can't lend you any money.
SpongeBob accidentally swallowed me wallet.
Mommy, you got yourself a hat
without me financial assistance!
Isn't it nice, Eugene?
It's just the one I wanted.
But, Mommy, you shouldn't be spending my inheritance...
I mean, since you told me you wanted a hat,
I went out and dug one up.
Where did you get this old thing?
She looks so peaceful.
Yeah, but wasn't she wearing a hat?
You can take this back to the trash heap.
Yes, Mommy.
Squidward, I need you to make a return for me!
Thank ye for your concern about me finances,
but me new boyfriend bought me this hat.
Boyfriend?
Someone to spend money...
"time" with you?
That's wonderful!
Who is he?
What's his name?
I don't know.
I'm meeting him here tonight.
Wonderful!
I'll stay open late
so you can have a nice, romantic dinner.
Run along, make yourself pretty.
SpongeBob, you're working late tonight!
No overtime!
Ah!
( clears throat )
I've reservations for two tonight.
Right this way, sir.
( shouts ): Excuse me!
I can't reach my silverware!
Terribly sorry, sir.
Will there be anything else?
Is my tie on straight?
You look fabulous!
Your gentleman caller awaits.
Hello, my dear.
I must say you look ravishing tonight.
Oh my, you're a tiny thing, but awfully cute.
Tell me about yourself.
Well, I'm in the food service business.
I'm a bit of a restaurateur.
l'm the founder and owner of the Chum Bucket.
Never heard of it.
It's across the street.
Doesn't ring a bell.
It's on the back
of the phone book.
Come on, I paid a lot of money
for that ad!
Never mind, never mind.
I'd like to hear about you.
Well...
Plankton!
Krabs!
Eugene!
Mommy?
"Mommy"?
SpongeBob!
This delectable creature is your mother?
This no-good conniving chiseler is your date?
And this devilishly handsome sponge is your waiter.
SpongeBob!
I don't know what sort of skullduggery you're up to,
Plankton, and I'm not waiting to find out.
Eugene, you put me boyfriend down this instant.
Boyfriend?
But, Mommy...
You heard the lady.
Let me go.
That's more like it.
Come, Plankton.
I'm sorry me son
had to spoil our romantic evening.
Mommy?
You!
Eugene.
I came to warn you, Plankton.
Stay away from me mother!
I know what you're really up to!
I'm serious, Eugene.
I've changed my ways.
And all it took was the love of a beautiful woman.
All you love is thieving and conniving.
Now, stop trying to get the formula out of me mother.
What are you talking about?
l'm talking about the Krabby Patty formula!
Your mother knows the Krabby Patty formula?
Don't play stupid with me.
Of course she does.
It's an old Krabs family recipe.
And you're not family.
l'm telling you for the last time:
stay away from me mother.
Not family, eh?
Well, I can fix that.
Eugene! Mommy!
What did I tell ye about interfering in me life?
Mommy, can't you see?
He's trying to seduce the Krabby Patty formula
right from under you.
For your information, Eugene,
he hasn't asked me once about the formula.
I doubt that he even knows that I know it.
Uh, yeah... funny thing about that.
I forbid ye to interfere in me private business.
Go to your office.
Now!
Yes, Mommy.
PLANKTON: Somebody call heaven,
because I think an angel's gone missing.
Oh, Sheldon.
Oh, Mrs. Krabs.
Oh, brother.
PLANKTON: Attention, attention everyone.
I'd like to make an announcement.
Mrs. Krabs, in full view of this restaurant,
I ask you for your hand in holy matrimony.
CROWD: Aw!
Would you marry me?
( crowd gasps )
Aah, that's it!
No more hiding in my room like a scared little kid.
It's time to act like a man.
( bellowing like Tarzan )
Gasp!
Please don't marry him, Mommy.
Don't marry this bad, bad man.
I don't want you to!
Too late, Krabsy!
We're going to be married.
And you're going to be my new son.
( laughing maniacally )
Huh?
What's this, honey bunch?
I am flattered by your offer.
Really I am.
But I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment.
Hah!
( laughing )
What is this?
There's somebody else, isn't there?
( Chumbot stomping thunderously )
I... I...
This is very uncomfortable.
I'll just wait in the car.
I don't believe this!
You led me on!
Now, now, Plankton, it's not what ye think.
I don't want to hear your lies!
You owe me for leading me on like this!
Give me the Krabby Patty formula, and we'll call it even.
The formula?!
Is that what this whole thing was about?
No, no, not really.
I mean, not at first.
I mean, uh...
Honey bunch?
Uh-oh.
( fist smacking )
Oh, well, 'tis better
to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all!
Working.
So you've decided to come crawling back to me, huh?
( angrily ): What did you say?
Nothing, dear.
( screams )
Yeah, that's what I thought you said...
honey bunch.
( moaning )